Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Family

 
 
      My 11 year old daughter made this adorable "family" out of pancake mix. I a very blessed.  Family. Families these days come in all shapes and sizes. Big, little, one mom, two mom's, mom and dad, just dad, one kid or two, or ten or twelve. Accepting your family for how it looks now sometimes is a challenge. Most of the time how our family looks isn't our choice, although sometimes it all works out and you and the person you marry agree on how many kids you want and that's what you do. One of the things that people go through as they become single parents is that they will never live the dream of having kids with the same person and growing old together. Its a big reality to swallow. At least it was for me. A lot of time divorce is not the choice people want to pick. But with abuse, adultery, addictions, and many other reasons, it is the better choice. Some people may disagree. But in raising kids, we need to protect them from things so they have a better chance at not repeating the same unhealthy cycle with their families. For me, I didn't realize I was living in an unhealthy relationship. Abusive people are very convincing. But now I see a lot of traits and qualities have been planted in my kids. It will take a lot of prayer, counseling, and patience to help them see these are not patterns  they want to repeat.   Raising kids as a single parent is very difficult, and sometimes even more difficult if you have the other parent that doesn't live with you, that doesn't agree with your parenting style. It is not an easy choice, if you even had a choice at all.  Everyone has different struggles. So what are we to do? "Be thankful in all things" Also realize that you can not look at another family and judge them.  You have not walked in that families shoes. Everyone has different experiences, values, morals, expectations, and character. I have experience this first hand in different ways. People who think they know how or what I should do with my family, either single or not. We need to love others and listen. I am very blessed to find a man who loves my kids and I. Neither of us has to deal with the "other parent". It is just him and I and the kids. We have formed a team and are committed to raising our kids in the Lord the best way we can.  We may not look like what everyone expects in their mind. But that is ok. At the end of the day we have each other and the Lord to lean on. And its up to us to evaluate how we should raise our kids. There also is no perfect family. So if you have your husband and kids and get to grow old together, be thankful its so simple. And if you are a family that is blended and has been through some tough times.  Know that you will grow together as a family when you make it through those tough times. Don't let what outside people say bother you. God has a perfect plan for you, and it won't look like anyone else's plan. I like to show my kids what we can be thankful for, even when things are tough. Sometimes its just that we have a meal to eat at that moment. Being thankful helps us to take one moment at a time, one day at time no matter how things look.